I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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