You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
