Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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