I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
