So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
