We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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