Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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