She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
They have beer where we have blood.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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