If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My vagina just clenched in fear
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
