just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
