the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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