I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
