Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
