so that wasnt chicken after all
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
