if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
