Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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