You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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