Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
