I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
