No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
