i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
