How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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