Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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