the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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