I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize