genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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