I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
