meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
