I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My life is pants optional.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
