I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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