So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
