just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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