bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
