Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
