dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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