So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
