How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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