I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
