i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
