id be glad to
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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