hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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