I hate all girls vehemently.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
