I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
