after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
