Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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