When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
