WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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