I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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