i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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