New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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