The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
