Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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