I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
